Pain and the Big Reveal

Updated: Mar 31, 2020

By Erin Allen

No, that's not the name of my new band. To put it in just a few words, that's been the last few days since surgery on Tuesday.

The day after surgery was definitely a rough one, once the nerve block wore off. Despite taking the paid medications, my leg wouldn't stop throbbing. Coupled with the fact that I didn't sleep well the night before, I was pretty miserable.

Since then, I've been better able to regulate the pain and the pain meds, eat a whole bunch and rest, so that, at this point, I'm not entirely miserable. I've also been hitting it pretty hard with my CPM machine, which helps work out my knee.

After 72 hours, I was also able to take off the gauze and bandages. I cried a little. My leg doesn't look like my leg. Outside of the very swollen knee, the shape of it seems all wrong. I also was able to finally shower. Probably one of the most difficult showers I've ever taken, but it was also probably one of the best. One step closer to feeling normal.

I've been pretty much laying in the bed this whole time. The little bit I get up is so exhausting. I know that my body needs the time, but I feel like I've been quarantined or sequestered or something. I'm looking forward to joining the living ...

I know people, young and old alike, who have dealt with so much worse than what I am going through. They show strength and courage and fortitude. It makes me feel slightly preposterous for going on about my ACL surgery and rehab. Like, who am I to make such a big deal about this, when in the end, I'm only suffering for a blip of time with pretty much guaranteed healing and a return to myself.

I've read and reread this post and the others, second guessing what I'm putting out there for others to read. Am I being too dramatic? Making a mountain out of a mole hill? Giving to much attention to the mundane? Maybe all of the above. But, I can't help but be compelled to let it out in an effort to rise above it all.


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